This is gonna be the hardest update I’ll have to make, so please bear with me.
First off, I wanna talk all those who sent condolences and support after a traumatic moment in my life. For those who don’t know, my mom passed away on September 13th. Dealing with this loss has been hard on my family as we’re still adjusting to this. The last two weeks has been rough, but sometime last week I tried to get back in the groove of things. To be honest, it made me question my decision to so.
Even before my mom’s death, I’ve just been feeling completely down. I try to keep a positive attitude as best as possible, but between this, my own health issues and several other problems, I can’t. I just feel like I’m in a hole and whenever I try to get myself out, there’s always something that pulls me back down. I don’t know if what I’m doing is still fun anymore or if people would care if I just upped and quit. Lately, I’ve been feeling anxiety or pressure on things that probably are imaginary and all in my head. Yet I can’t stop thinking this way.
I really hope there’s really a light at the end of this tunnel because I don’t know what the future will bring. Will it bring good fortune or more misery? I can’t say.
For the most part, I still have some enjoyment working on renders and talking with a few artists & friends about this stuff. I spent a good chunk of my life doing this and it’s something that still can bring me some joy. I also had plans to release a new title next month, but that’s currently up in the air. I think after it’s out, I should reconsider what I’m doing because I don’t want to keep this feeling I have from becoming worse than it already is.